— Thor [The Mighty Thor # 19]
So, my mother and father got divorced a long time ago. It was nothing hostile, and they are still relatively good friends.
However, they tend to disagree on things, and if one of them decides that they will use one of my favorite things as a form of motivation against me (example: taking away my Thor DVD until I clean my room), the other tends to come to my rescue and claim that it is unfair.
Well, a few days ago, my dad told me that I needed to go take my driver’s license test.
I told him, “Dad, I really don’t want to get my license right now. It’s just not important in my life.”
He stared at me for a moment, thinking of what to do.
Here is what happened next.
Me: *fangirling as the Avengers trailer comes on TV*
Dad: HA! I’ve got it!
Dad: If you don’t get your license, you don’t get to go see the Avengers.
We then proceeded to argue, with him laughing evilly the entire time, and eventually I said, “Mom won’t let you do this. She knows how much I love the Avengers. She’ll back me up.”
Here’s how that conversation went.
Dad: She needs to get her license, so I’ve told her that when she goes for her test on Tuesday, if she doesn’t pass, she can’t go see the Avengers.
Me: *thinking* Mom’s got my back. She’ll stop you.
Mom: That is the most brilliant idea ever. What better form of motivation than to deny her the movie she’s been waiting years for? All right, sweetie. If you wanna go see the movie, then you have to pass your test. Put all you effort in. Be motivated. No slacking off.
Me: ARE YOU BOTH FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???
Don’t get me wrong. I love my parents. They’re awesome. But when they work against me, they team up. I cannot win.
Wish me luck.
My test is tomorrow.
Screw the candidates for the 2012 election.
I’m voting for Loki.
We were made to be ruled, dammit.